Church can cause harm.
If you grew up in a church, like me, you are probably familiar with some of the complex trauma that can arise from religious communities, but may not be aware that it’s connected to religious trauma.
What is religious trauma?
The physical, emotional, or psychological response to religious beliefs, practices, or structures that is experienced by an individual as overwhelming or disruptive and has lasting adverse effects on a person’s physical, mental, social, emotional, or spiritual well-being.
What makes religious trauma so unique is that it imposes unconscious beliefs about the self using ultimate truth as it’s authority in the form of god. Here are some damaging beliefs that you may have received that still affect you today.
Desire as Shameful - The belief that natural desires, particularly sexual ones, are inherently sinful or shameful can lead to a significant disconnect from one's own body, fostering guilt, anxiety, or repression.
Fear of Damnation - An intense focus on sin and the consequences of not adhering to strict religious doctrines can instill a deep-seated fear of eternal damnation, leading to anxiety, obsessive thoughts about doing the right thing, or constantly apologizing for yourself even when it’s unwarranted.
Inherent Unworthiness - The emphasis on human sinfulness might lead to the belief that one is inherently unworthy or only valuable through salvation, which can affect self-esteem, self-worth, and the ability to accept unconditional love or grace outside of religious contexts.
Black and White Thinking - Exposure to teachings that categorize behaviors, thoughts, or even people into strictly good or evil can foster rigid thinking patterns, making it difficult to navigate the complexities of morality, ethics, or personal identity in adulthood.
Authority and Obedience - A culture where questioning is discouraged can lead to the belief that one must never question authority figures or traditional interpretations of doctrine, which can hinder critical thinking, personal autonomy, and the development of a personal moral compass.
Guilt as a Motivator - Using guilt to enforce moral behavior can result in an internal narrative where one feels perpetually guilty, not for specific actions but as a state of being, which can lead to chronic stress, depression, or a continuous need for external validation or forgiveness.
Exclusivity of Truth - The belief that one's church or denomination holds the only truth can lead to intolerance, difficulty in accepting other viewpoints, and challenges in forming relationships with those of different beliefs or no belief at all.
Self-Sacrifice Over Self-Care - Emphasis on martyrdom or self-denial as virtues can lead to neglect of personal needs, boundaries, or self-care, potentially fostering codependency or burnout in relationships and personal life.
Fear of the World - Teachings about the corrupt nature of the world outside the church or the influence of secularism can create a worldview where one fears the external environment, leading to social isolation or an inability to engage with broader society effectively.
Gender Roles and Identity - Strict adherence to traditional gender roles can cause confusion or conflict for those who don't fit these norms, leading to identity struggles, internalized misogyny or patriarchy, or feelings of inadequacy for not meeting these expectations.
Real faith isn’t defined by certainty… it’s defined by trust.
Whether you’ve left your old belief structures behind in favor of a new way of seeing spirituality from a more inclusive perspective, embraced an agnostic or atheistic world view, or want to maintain what was meaningful for you during your religious upbringing, I can help you process what caused harm during those formative years. Regardless of what you believe now, the messages you received likely still effect you today through unconscious beliefs about yourself, others, and the world. These beliefs can create subversive shame around your desire (seeing it as “sinful”), a subtle fear of going to “hell”
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It all begins with an idea. Maybe you want to launch a business. Maybe you want to turn a hobby into something more. Or maybe you have a creative project to share with the world. Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.
